Tag Archives: momentsinmotherhood

The Finish Line is in Sight!!!

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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. ~Galatians 6:9

I feel weary; I feel very weary, but the one thing I can say is that the end is in sight, and I have survived! I can’t say I will be sprinting, or even jogging, across the finish line…more like crawling. But the finish line is in view, and I have made it! Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to quit at Week 1, and again at Week 3, and then again every week since then, but I have made it to the end!

Distance learning has been one of the hardest parenting challenges I have faced. Navigating distance learning with four kids, three who have unique learning needs, while trying to work from home has been extremely difficult. At least once a week I would ask my husband what he thought would happen if we just quit doing it. However, we kept putting one foot in front of the other, and now I can almost reach out and touch the finish line.

When I completed my half marathon earlier this month, it was a similar feeling. I don’t remember a lot about the last three miles because I was so exhausted that my brain didn’t seem to be working. It was 69% humidity when I started, and well into the 80s when I finished; the combination completely zapped my energy. However, my body seemed to be on autopilot, so I pushed through until the end. By the time I reached the finish line, my brain was foggy and my entire body hurt. I wish I could say I sprinted across the finish line, but that was not the case. I reached the finish line feeling like I had nothing left to give. I didn’t achieve the time goal I had set for myself and didn’t finish as strong as I had hoped, but I finished. A goal that I had for my entire adult life was achieved, and with that came a huge sense of accomplishment.

As I finished the half marathon and as we finish distance learning, I can’t say that I have “run the race to win” because in both cases, I have reached the finish line feeling like I have nothing left to give and like I barely made it. However, what I can say, is that I persevered and finished. I was tired. I was weary. And I wanted to quit so many times. But there is something to be said for perseverance.

Distance learning has been hard. Running my first half marathon was hard. Quarantine and social distancing have been hard. But in the midst of it, we have persevered, and there is something to be said for that. When we wanted to quit, we didn’t. We kept putting one foot in front of the other, and we survived. We are stronger than we realize, and we have now reached the finish line. Summer break is here, which means a break from juggling working from home and the kids’ school work. It means a chance to regroup and refocus and to plan fun, creative activities with the kids. The finish line is in sight, and even though, in many cases, it feels like we are crawling to the finish line, we have persevered, and if nothing else, we have finished.

Preparing for a New Norm

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A new day is dawning…but I have no idea what to expect…

It may sound shocking, but I went to the grocery store Friday evening for the first time since the new social distancing guidelines have been implemented. Because of our work/home school schedule, it has been more convenient for my husband to do our shopping, so I have not been to a store for well over a month. I have not been shopping since one way aisles, limited capacity, the widespread use of face masks, and check outs with Plexiglas barriers have begun.

The last time I was in the store, everything was normal, except for the fact that the store shelves were empty of eggs, milk, fruits, vegetables, toilet paper, and other essential items. Now the stores were full (besides the toilet paper aisle), but “Do not enter” signs were posted on rotating ends of the aisles.

Forgetting how much life has changed since I have been staying home, I began my shopping, only to begin noticing people giving me terrible looks. I realized that the two customers in my aisle were both going the same way…the opposite direction that I was going. I quickly apologized and corrected my direction, but the reality of how much life has changed in a few short months quickly began to set in.

Only two months ago, I was at work preparing for Spring Break, thankful that it was finally here. Life was going smoothly, but like any school employee, I desperately needed Spring Break.

So quickly after Spring Break began, though, life began to change. What was previously discussed on the news as a virus in China, began to spread to the United States. Social distancing, stay-home orders, and curfews quickly followed.

In the two months since Spring Break began, the neighbors on both sides of me moved away, and because of my husband’s flexible schedule, he had begun doing all of the shopping, so I hadn’t been in stores since the beginning of April. Because of these things, my social interaction has been zero and my contact with the outside world has been non-existent.

Where I live, most people keep to themselves and don’t talk to the strangers around them. However, being at the grocery store after reemerging from isolation, I experienced a different kind of distancing and unfriendliness. The general courtesies that occur, such as an occasional “excuse me” or a quick conversation with someone behind you in line, were replaced with distance and coldness. If there were smiles of kindness, they were hidden behind masks. All of the general pleasantries had vanished. It almost felt like being in a sterile, serious science lab. The cashier and bagger were decently friendly, but no one else looked at each other or smiled, and if someone moved in their direction, they moved to distance themselves appropriately.

After my grocery store experience, the reality set in that I don’t think we will return to “normal.” All signs seem to point to a new normal, and it’s hard to picture what life will look like when all of this is over. Will I be able to hug or shake hands with people? Will more of the pleasantries between passing strangers resume? Will one way aisles stay forever? And the question on every parent’s mind: will my kids get to return to school in the fall?

Once again, I come back to the fact that there are so many more questions than answers. I long for life to go back to “normal,” but also understand that it probably never will. Mentally, I am trying to prepare for a new normal, but I feel like I don’t even know how to prepare…because I don’t even know what to expect.

For now, I keep putting one foot in front of the other. As Pabbie the troll said in Frozen II, “When one can see no future, all one can do is the next right thing.” I have no idea what the future will look like, but what I do know is that the next two weeks I will spend finishing up my work and home school for the year. After that, I have “to-do” list to begin working on, and in the midst of that, I have activities that the kids have been asking to do: a crystal-growing science kit, a hurricane tube, new recipes to try, and rooms to rearrange and redecorate.

At this point, I have few guesses as to what life will look like after this, but I right now, I know that the next right thing is to help my own kids and my students finish the school year strong, and then to help my kids enjoy a low-key summer. I don’t know what the future holds, but that is okay; I don’t have to know. The future will slowly begin to unfold when it’s time. For now, this is my “next right thing;” what is yours?