As summer vacation begins, the much-needed break from homeschool and work-from-home has arrived. The very thing I have longed for is now at my finger tips. However, with most of our typical summer festivities closed or cancelled, I now face two more months with kids home and little to do. Even though some things are open, I still don’t love the idea of traipsing all over creation with four kids, as COVID-19 and protests/riots are still a present reality.

The glares I get in public as a group of five, with kids who are too big for shopping carts, but who still just don’t seem to get the logistics of social distancing, just don’t seem worth it. In addition, going shopping and purchasing clothing items without being able to try them on growing kids, and then having to make another trip to the store to return anything that doesn’t fit, just seems like a tremendous inconvenience. Driving through downtown areas where we may encounter protesters feels very unsafe with four kids in tow. We have done all of our art projects, all of the quarantine ideas that were worth doing, all of our puzzles at least once, and played all of our games countless times.

The kids are bored, but I don’t feel like I have the mental energy to entertain them. My to-do list is growing faster than I can keep up with due to little things that I never have time to do in the midst of “normal life.” Wanting to knock out my to-do list, but feeling the need to rest and recover, causes a plethora of emotions: anxiety that I will surround myself with busyness and to-do lists and not enjoy my summer; while at the same time worrying that I will not capitalize on my time and strategically use my summer for the things most important to me; guilt that I don’t want to entertain my children all summer; and fear that I will arrive at work in August not feeling refreshed because of my summer projects. All these emotions and thoughts swirl around in my brain.

Then the realization sets in: I have forgotten how to “be.” I have once again switched to the mindset of a “human doing” rather than a “human being.” As a mother, there is a lot that needs to be done, both for the kids and to maintain a household. However, I cannot lose sight of the fact that I am a human being, and as such, I must allow myself to “be.” Pushing ourselves to go-go-go and always striving to accomplish to-do lists and goals can quickly lead to burn out. We must allow ourselves to take a step back and regroup. Yes, some seasons of life are just busy, but we also need to find little opportunities to rest, recover, relax, and do things we love so that we do not fall into the trap of becoming “human doings.”

We were created to “be:” to enjoy community with other people, to enjoy sunrises and sunsets and mountain views and ripples across lakes, to enjoy nature sounds, and to embrace the person God created us to be. Sometimes in life’s busyness, we lose sight of this, but down-times are great opportunities to reflect and ensure that we continue to live as human beings, rather than as human doings.