Some people seem to have this amazing ability to set goals, and plan their lives, and their lives go according to the plans. For me, I can definitely say that my life looks very different than I planned. There have been many times in life I have found myself grieving disappointed desires. I had pictures in my brain of how life was supposed to go, and life just didn’t seem to turn out that way.

I planned to get married, have two and a half kids, live in a neighborhood with a white picket fence, and have an amazingly successful career, or something like that. I was going to live the American dream!

However, four kids later, I decided to work in the school system so I could have the same schedule as my children, rather than pursue a more lucrative career. Instead of a house with a white picket fence, we moved into a practical house that fits our family and is zoned for good schools. The amazing overseas trips my husband and I used to take, turned into state-side travel to allow us to travel economically with our family. My “cool” car got sold, so I could purchase a “mom car” to fit our large family.

I have slowly begun letting go of the picture of how life was “supposed” to look. Life is messy, and for most people, it doesn’t turn out how we expect. We realize how much things cost and how expensive kids can really be. Our dream job either doesn’t come or the demands are so great that we decide it may not be worth the cost. In the process, we have to adjust our picture of life and our expectations.

However, if we can allow ourselves to grieve our disappointed desires, letting go of the life we thought we wanted, we can more fully embrace to life we actually have. For me, I have four beautiful children who woke up at 6:45 this morning because they were so excited to celebrate me for Mother’s Day, and with my husband’s help, they brought me breakfast in bed. Then they sneaked into the kitchen to do dishes while I was outside, only after insisting on making me a new recipe they discovered for lunch.

I can’t say I have my dream house, or my dream car, or my dream career, but I have four amazing children and a wonderful husband who appreciate me and who celebrated me today. There are four little people who look up to me and who I am teaching to navigate life, and even though they sometimes aggravate me and push boundaries and make me feel like I’m losing my mind, I get glimpses of the amazing people they are becoming. I am helping impact the next generation, in my very own home. No, I never imagined my life would look like this; my picture looked very different.

But sometimes life doesn’t go the way we plan…and in it’s own unique way…it’s even better.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms out there!!!