Tag Archives: coronavirusfatigue

Hope in the Midst of Weariness

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2020 has been a difficult year. I am exhausted. The pandemic, the economic and employment issues, the shutdowns, the natural disasters, the social isolation–every time I turn around, it feels like one more hammer drops. The social distancing and the continued disruptions to normal life are taking an emotional toll on everyone.

Everything inside me wants life to go back to normal. I am tired of facemasks and not being able to hang out with friends. The constant changes at schools across the nation feel tumultuous–teachers and students being quarantined, schools closing down, sporting events cancelled, teacher changes due to class balancing as students return for in-person learning, teachers being displaced due to low attendance numbers. Then there are the economic effects–every time I turn around someone is being furloughed or let go. We all brace, hoping and praying that whatever the next hammer is to drop, that it doesn’t strike too close to home.

I find myself, over and over, speaking the words, “I bind myself to hope.” For many people, hope is dwindling. Job loss, financial difficulties, and lack of social supports have stripped hope from many. However, hope is essential. When we give up hope, we give up the very thing that can keep us going during difficult times–looking forward to a future that is bright and full of possibility.

When hope dwindles, is it easy to fall into hopelessness and depression. However, that is the very place that needs to be avoided. The reality is that during difficult times, there are not a lot of good options; however, typically, there are options. Desperate times call for creativity and thinking outside the box. The options we think of may not be the options we wanted, and our life may not look like we envisioned, but the options may keep us going when everything around us seems to be shaking.

Options may look like moving in with a family member, or taking a less-than ideal job. It is important to remember that any options we choose in the short-term, do not have to be forever. We just need to do what needs to be done to survive this season, putting one foot in front of the other.

Above all else, we must bind ourselves to hope, because if we lose our hope, we stand to lose everything. We will get through this and come out the other side. In the meantime, we must maintain some level of hope–hope that the future will be brighter, and that as some point, we will return to some semblance of normalcy.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a wellspring of life.”

Weariness Comes Knocking

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As week five of quarantine draws to a close, only one word adequately describes my current state of being: weariness. Weary that I can’t go back to life as normal. Weary that I am having to balance my work and my kids school work.

Social distancing is beginning to take its toll. I can’t say I typically have a full social calendar, often opting for low-key family weekends rather than entertaining or joining large social gatherings, but I am starting to crave socialization. I miss seeing my siblings, spending time with my friends, and enjoying the warm hellos of coworkers.

The demand placed on parents across the country to become instant home school parents is also beginning to take its toll. Yes, teachers are creating the lessons, which at first appearances would make it seem easier, but now, unlike traditional home school, I am having to keep up with twenty-five different teachers’ expectations between my four kids. Each teacher has different requirements, different platforms they are using, and different expectations. Navigating these demands is anything but easy.

In my brain, I imagined that the third week of home school would get easier, that we would have settled into a manageable routine. However, some new challenge always seems to present itself. This week, we discovered that we had accidentally missed some important assignments last week. That definitely causes a set-back because we spent the beginning of the week playing catch-up. Going into this week, I thought it would be smooth-sailing, but that wasn’t our experience. This week was hard.

Fatigue. Weariness. I am bracing for social-distancing for the long-haul, but longing for life to return to normal. I bought a new hair dryer that doesn’t work well, but returning it means another trip to a store that is limiting the number of people allowed in. My recent online order arrived damaged, but exchanging it means going to the post office and being in close proximity to others. Is it better to engage in these activities or just make due? This seems to be the million dollar question.

I don’t want to expose my kids to the virus. I don’t want to get sick and be unable to help my kids or do my work. In addition, if my husband gets sick, he will have to use most of his time-off or take unpaid leave. These questions, precautions, worries, and fears are on so many minds. Not wanting to expose ourselves or our loved ones to the virus, but longing to get back into society and to our normal lives.

The lack of answers feels ominous. When will stores begin to reopen? How bad will the unemployment rate be when this is done? And how many stores will have to permanently close their doors?

Each of us has questions that swirl in the back of our minds. Maybe we don’t take time to listen to those thoughts each day, but they are there, adding little by little to the weariness and stress. I know life will return to normal at some point, but how soon is anyone’s guess.

In the meantime, it is important to find little moments of joy in each day. Watch the sunrise. Have morning coffee virtually with a friend. Take the chance to enjoy lunch with your kids…since they’re home from school anyways. Engage in a hobby or discover a new one. Inhale the fresh air while watching the sun sink in the distance.

We will get through this. It will pass. Life may look very different on the other side. The unknowns feel extremely daunting…but we will survive and will come out stronger. There are lessons we will learn in this season that we will cherish forever. History is unfolding before our very eyes and memories are being made. On the other side of this, we will view life through a new, fresh lens.

Embrace the present, plodding along, taking one step at a time, because when we don’t know what to do, we just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Above all else, we must not lose hope. Hope will carry us through, even on the hardest days, and hope will ensure that tomorrow comes, and it allows us anticipate a brighter future.