This current season of life is indescribable, unlike any season we have ever experienced. It is filled with uncertainty and more questions than answers. When this season started, it definitely blindsided many of us.

For me, I spent the first week home flipping out, wondering what I was going to do with all of my free time. As a mom of four, free time feels foreign, so the rare moments when I do get free time, I really don’t know what to do with myself. By the time I got over the panic of free time, it was my second week off and I had to start working from home. Working remotely definitely felt like my dream life. I was home, making a full-time salary, but still finding time to do things I loved and the kids were getting along great.

Then the third week happened. Our toilet paper supply was running low, so I made numerous (unsuccessful) trips to find toilet paper, along with worrying that we may not be able to find any by the time we run out. The kids started arguing, and in addition, distance learning started. I couldn’t find a schedule that seemed to work. Initially, I was doing my work first and then letting the kids start their distance learning once I was done working. That worked well, except that the kids weren’t getting done with their school work until seven or eight at night. Then I tried letting the kids start school in the morning, while I was working. The problem is that with four kids, someone always needs help, so then my work got neglected, and I found myself having to finish my work at 11:00 at night.

As I prepare to start my fourth week home, I can’t say I have found a good schedule yet. Actually, I would describe last week as a “chaotic disaster.” My daughters’ school work was taking them about six or seven hours a day to complete because of the amount of work that was being assigned, and my four kids constantly needed help on different subjects. It was enough to make me feel like I was losing my mind!

Honestly, my frustration levels were through the roof, and I really thought about e-mailing my kids principals to tell them we decided distance learning was ridiculous and I was no longer willing to do it, but then the weekend came and I had survived.

The life I viewed so fondly the week before had come crashing down, until the weekend came and I was able to regroup. Upon reflection, I remembered the saying my mentor used to tell me…life is mixture. Yes, there are seasons of life that are harder and seasons of life that are better than others , but most of life is a mixture of good and bad. Even though I felt like I was about to lose my mind, I was still finding time to run every day, which was something I stopped doing when the kids were little. I was also finding time to garden, to connect with friends via phone, and to spend fun/down time with my kids.

I can’t decide what to think during this season. One minute I love it and then the next minute I hate it. I am watching friends and neighbors lose jobs, hours being cut, and empty toilet paper shelves, but on the other hand, I have started running and gardening and organizing and blogging again. I have even signed up for a half marathon, which has been a goal of mine for years. I finally have time and energy to do some of these things.

One thing I know about seasons, though, is that they change. For some people, I know this is going to be an extremely difficult season. I still don’t know what type of season it will be for us. In some ways I am happy for this season and the opportunity to slow down a little and find myself again. In other ways, I am dreading this season. Distance learning seems like it will be the bane of my existence. The loss of overtime hours at work means that I have to postpone my home build even longer. In spite of all of this, I believe that things happen for a reason and I know that no season lasts forever. This season may be more difficult than some, but I need to remember to embrace the mixture, not denying the negative, but also not overlooking the positive. Many times I forget to see the positive. It’s so easy to get caught up in the stress of the moment and miss the special little moments along the way.

My challenge for myself, and my challenge for you, is to recognize and embrace those special moments. Seasons change. We will not have the chance to work remotely forever. The kids grow up quicker than we realize. Find special moments throughout the day, with your family and by yourself. Pick up the hobbies that you stopped because life got busy. Bake or play a game or do a puzzle with the kids. Whatever it looks like for you, find a way to make this season special and memorable, because this is a unique season. For me, I think it may be time to start keeping my gratitude journal again, as a way to focus on the positive aspects of life. For you, it may look different, but one thing is sure: whatever it looks like, I know that this will be a season that we will not soon forget!