Hunkering down in the midst of life’s storms

Like many Americans, our Spring Break travel plans got cancelled this year because of the coronavirus. Yes, I was extremely disappointed, and my emotions have been all over the place, not knowing what to think in the midst of this. However, the lack of being able to engage in public and social activities has forced me to reflect on a few things to help me get through these uncertain times.

1. Breathe

All of the uncertainty of this season is spiking anxiety and fear in many people: fear of contracting the virus, anxiety over employment and investment uncertainty. However, anxiety triggers a “fight or flight” response in our bodies and is very unproductive in times life these.

In the midst of the stress of COVID-19, remember to breathe. Not shallow chest breathing, but deep belly breaths. With my students, I call this “balloon belly breathing.” I encourage them to do the following: Place your hand on your stomach and feel it fill up with air like a balloon, and then let that air out and feel your stomach “deflate.” It is amazing what deep breathing can do for our bodies!

This and other positive coping skills can help us survive the current uncertainty we are experiencing.

2. Engage in an enjoyable hobby or pastime

One of the best ways to survive a difficult season is having a fun hobby or pastime. In the counseling world, these are often referred to as “distraction techniques.” Always wanted to create a blog? Why not start now? Always wanted to start a garden? Now is a great time to start!

Find the book you’ve wanted to read, start exercising again, listen to some good music, go on a walk at sunset. These things don’t necessarily help us cope with the stress we are experiencing, but they occupy our minds so that we don’t dwell on what we currently cannot control. Stress and anxiety are horrible feelings. We can stay in that place of fear, or we can actively try to get ourselves to a place where life doesn’t feel so bleak and hopeless.

3. Rely on faith to find hope

Many American families historically attended church and believed in God to get them through difficult times. However, over the years, many people have stopped believing or actively practicing their faith for various reasons. For some, it is because God felt distant, almost like a fairy tale. For others, it was been because of hypocrisy in the church. Yet others stopped because of busy schedules.

Whatever the reasons for departure from faith, during difficult times, when life feels out of our control, going back to the foundations of faith can be beneficial and encouraging. Praying out loud is a great way to process your thoughts, but can also instill hope within you, as you release your fears and worries to God. The idea that a Higher Power, hears us, is with us when things feel out of control, and cares, can induce hope even in the most difficult times.

4. The power of thoughts

Sometimes I find that I send myself to a negative place with my thoughts. I focus on the stupid thing I said to someone or something I wish I had done differently. In many ways, I am my own worse enemy.

During difficult times, our inner thoughts, or what is referred to as “self-talk” can become extremely negative. We think of all of the “what ifs” and all of the terrible things that could happen. This can create a downward spiral in our brains and our bodies.

Instead, it is important to encourage ourselves with our thoughts. I often ask my students what they would tell a friend going through a hard time. I ask, “Would you say: your life is going to fall apart and you are going to fail?” To this my students chuckle and say, “No.” My next statement is, “Then why are you saying this to yourself?”

We need to learn to be kind friends to ourselves. What can I say to help myself feel a little better, that I actually believe? Maybe: “I’ve got this. I will get through this.” Or maybe, “Things are hard right now, but I am strong and will find a way to make it.” Our not-so-distant ancestors survived the Great Depression. Things are difficult right now and look rather bleak, but self-encouragement and positive self-talk can help give new perspective to our situations.

Final thoughts

Yes, I wish I could be traveling right now. Instead, I am cooped up in the house with four kids who all have spring fever. However, since all of my traveling plans are cancelled until further notice, I am going to use this as a chance to self-reflect, grow, bond with my family, and re-explore hobbies that I let go in the midst of life’s busyness. I encourage you to do the same!

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